Within

I remember the feeling I got when I first learned about the concept of Heaven on Earth, or Hell on Earth, and the choice being mine through my own actions and reactions to what life handed me. I was bewildered and beside myself reviewing the choices I had made that led me to where I was at that moment in time. It all made perfect sense finally. Many people still say that Earth for them seems like a Hell dimension. How ironic. It is so because they choose it to be.

I've come to yet a new level of awareness recently that extends beyond the Heaven on Earth scenario to the next level. It involves the concept of going within oneself to truly solve the problems of the world. This place that is within can be reached through meditation so books tell us. You go within as often as you can and only then the world can be changed.

For years I thought I knew what this within place was, and I seemed only able to go there every now and then, during my meditations. To be able to exist within was fleeting. I can't even say I know what within really feels like, but it was definitely deep, deep into the subconscious. Sometimes I felt my body sort of floating, other times I would see stars and stellar formations whizzing past my peripheral vision, as if I were moving full speed ahead in outer space. During some meditations there would be no visual, no floating sensation, but my body would begin to rock back and forth or in circles, slight of course, but always as if some hands were on my shoulders forcing me into patterns of movement.

" Geometry," I thought. The natural world has encoded within it mysterious geometry, and perhaps I was being coded for growth. As we evolve, I've read, our DNA seems to be getting richer. Some believe there should be12 or even 13 strands of DNA and we only have two at this moment in our evolution. Whatever the explanation for this phenomenon, I couldn't say for sure if that was actually what it meant to go within.

I came across Deepak Chopra's newest book recently quite by accident. It is called The Book of Secrets and in it he brings up the curious fact that Science is unable to prove the physical world actually exists at all. This has helped me to grasp an idea I've pondered before. We can experience the physical world through our five senses, but when it all comes down to it, the sunlight that our eyes perceive, never directly reaches our brain that is doing the processing that tells us, "this is sunlight." In fact the living brain is forever in the blackest cavern that sunlight never touches. The world we see around us is actually being created and interpreted by our brain within us. I am paraphrasing Chopra's example probably quite badly.

I'll put a philosophical spin on what Chopra was using science to describe. Descartes is the philosopher who is most famous for saying, "I think therefore, I am." This phrase is actually only a piece of the idea Descartes was exploring. He also toyed with the idea that there could be some "evil being" out there who set this whole scenario up to trick me. Maybe what I believe I am knowing or experiencing isn't really what I think it is at all. Perhaps what I believe to be reality is someone else's creation and I am a puppet in the grand scheme of it all.

For example, before me I see a guitar. I can know it is a guitar based on my previous experiences with guitars. I can touch it and feel it is made up of a series of elements one of which is wood. I know wood through the senses of sight and smell as well. But the truth is that the brain which eventually "knows" what this other object and its subsequent pieces are, has never seen, touched, smelled tasted or heard any of them first hand. It had to know this wooden guitar existed through the relaying of messages from other sources. This is much like that of religious faith for some people.

Taken one step further, I can touch the guitar, pick it up and strum its strings, but the guitar is still an object that stays outside of me. It is separate from me because the most I can do to experience it is use my internal feelers that describe the outside world to the ultimate knower, the brain.

So while I experience this outside world, how is it that my outside friend experiences it too? We have separate insides, but perceive the exact same outside with slight variations. These variations are built on perception. Our vantage points will forever be different because the most I can experience of my outside friend as existing is once again by using my internal feelers that describe the outside world to my brain. Even the act of sexual intimacy is still a uniquely internal knowing of another being. We may romantically say our souls have been joined in the act, but I can only know what happened within me because I can only perceive through my independent senses and emotions.

Now I am what seems, truly alone in this world full of outside stuff. I am completely separate from the whole world yet we are all here separately together. So how is it that we share some thread between us that ties our experiences to one another? There is a greater clue in this shared reality.

Once when driving home from class years ago, I saw that someone before me had thrown trash onto the side of the road that I was later traveling down. I was beside myself trying to understand what it is that allows me to know that this napkin and fast food bag ever even existed in someone else's completely separate world, and now, here, I am experiencing it all alone where someone else left it.

Perhaps it's like fingerprints left at a crime scene. Detectives have a pre-disposition that tells them there are clues left behind at every crime scene. The crime scene is something that exists in the reality of the detective. This is the detective's cause for being and therefore the detective can expect clues and quite possibly inadvertently create the scenario necessary for his or her reality.

The trash however seems to have no baring what so ever in my reality except to cause me be aware that there are other people who share and affect my reality as well. Any person or object that is not created by nature could have served the same purpose. But why did this trashed bag, something that is seemingly miniscule and trivial cause me to question my connection with the rest of the world or at least this one other person who remains a stranger to me to this day? Perhaps that was my version of the fingerprint. We all share something, but what is this intangible something that keeps us from having our own schizophrenic realities that are completely unrelated to one another? What is the glue that binds?

It must be within that we can solve the mystery, and once and for all know the completeness of our selves beyond the five senses. Many say there is a holy experience (whole-y) awaiting us that will allow the boundaries to dissipate. I have had instances of feeling as if I were a part of something greater than myself and the pitiful version of the world as seen through my eyes, but never lost my parameters of separation. The skin hasn't fallen away. I consider myself to be somewhat empathic at moments, and I feel anxiety from others, in particular my animals at times, but I still know this is not my anxiety. Where is the dissolve? The dissolve lies wherever this illusive within lies.

Now we're ready for part two. Taoists are very good at taking the mundane world, as we know it, and flipping it on its head causing us to see something again for the first time. For example, we recognize the house as a structure consisting of at least four walls, a roof and floor. Yet it is the vacant space within, the windows and open doors that make the structure useful. We take for granted the most valuable pieces of our reality, which are pretty much always intangibles. Taoists love to ponder the mystery of the eye, which sees everything around itself but cannot of itself see itself. There is certainly a metaphor in there if we transpose the word "eye" with the word "I."

Here is where I believe we can uncover the mystery of within. Throughout all of my life I have perceived myself as a separate entity from all other things and beings. I believe there is an untapped location within me that can unlock all the mysteries of the world and reveal to me this elusive heaven plane. Ah but heaven is now here, (nowhere) according to my original statements. So what of this separate place, does it fall away when I find within? And if so, then the postulating of a oneness is fallacious because that would mean there is something else that exists outside of the oneness, for example this plane that we share our reality within. The answer lies in the previous statement made paragraphs ago about Deepak Chopra's observations involving the brain and perception of reality. The world we see around us is actually being created and interpreted by our brain within us. The world which we have always assumed was outside, is unfolding inside of our brain. We are already within. That is why the more we perceive separateness, the more separateness is created within our reality. If this is the heaven plane and we are the creators of our shared reality it makes sense that we continue to create division and chaos all the while lamenting that this world is being torn apart by our intolerance for our differences. We're cranking out separation at exponential rates.

When we can begin to perceive as if the world around us is actually the world within us we can begin to see that we are all one, we are all responsible for all of the matters of the world and we can begin to pull the pieces back together again by changing the thought processes that come from a place of separation. We will no longer judge others for their creations, but stop judging all together and begin understanding.

It is also important to note that once you begin to understand and perceive as if you are simply a vantage point within the whole, you will probably experience several emotional and or physical challenges that can threaten the stability of this means of growth. Take every instance of fear as a signpost that shows you that just beyond that fear you are another grand step away from the ego and into the godly scheme of things. For in this sense the ego is a great compatriot. It will always tell on itself, because whenever it shows up it is trying to prevent you from knowing something that lies just beyond the experience that will help elevate your knowingness, your awareness.

Now when I know all of this I can look at the world as a whole, and see the posturing of our leaders as tremendous expressions of fear. This is the ego on the global scale. How telling then is it that this is such a very volatile moment in the world's history? I believe that we are on the brink of disaster or the brink of paradise and the choice is ours. Within is where we will find this paradise. Here is the key to the universe!

Sue~~





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