Jest Texas

YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN:

You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car

You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water

You can say 110 degrees without fainting

You eat hot chili to cool your mouth off

You can make sun tea instantly

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron

You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance

Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one

It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets

You actually burn your hand opening the car door

Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter

A formula less than 30 SPF is a joke and you only wear that to go to the corner store

Hot air balloons can't go (at all)

No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear, "what if I get knocked out and lay on the pavement and cook to death"?

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

You notice your radiator is overheating, before you start your car.

You no longer associate bridges over rivers with water.

The thermometer in the lid of your Bar-B-Que Grill shows 150 degrees F, before you light it.

You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

You hear the weather forecast for 105 degrees without flinching.

You discover, in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car, because your steering wheel is so hot.

You can make instant sun tea or sun tea instantly.

You run the house a/c in the middle of winter, so you can use your fireplace.

The best parking is determined by shade.... not distance.

Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

Sunscreen is sold year round, it is always kept right at the checkout counter.

Sunscreen with less than 50 SPF is called 'hand cream.'

You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mail box.

Some fools market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them. Worse... a lot of fools actually try to jog!!

When hot air balloons can't rise because the outside air is hotter than the air inside the balloon.

When fabric is considered the deluxe interior, rather than stick-to-your-seat leather.

You see two trees fighting over a dog.




Back to Comedee Central