I don't remember anything about how I got there, but I remember sitting in a small single engine propeller plane (like a sky diving plane), I remember earlier having received instructions on how to form the "arch" during "free fall" but that's about it. They had me in some kind of belt apparatus in a hanger of a sky diving school showing me the position. Back in the plane the guy tells me to come over to the door and to put my foot out on the wheel. I remember yelling at him "I DON'T HAVE MY PARACHUTE!" He then yells in my ear "STAY HERE I'LL GO GET IT." I am standing at the open door with both of my hands firmly grasping the sides of the plane, I look back to see what the man is doing. He is up by the pilot on the radio.
He starts to walk back to me and he grabs a parachute from beneath a bungi spider web that is sticking to the side of the plane. The parachute is two big squares attached to each other by two seat belt like straps and then there are many other straps, clips and hooks coming off the two straps as well as the two squares. I see him coming toward me and he goes to say something in my ear. I lean back to listen. He says to me "LET GO OF THE PLANE, WE HAVE TO PUT YOUR PARACHUTE ON." The second I let go of the plane he pushes me out. I am all disoriented for a few seconds but then get my self into the "arch". I remember I had no fear as I was falling, I was not afraid. I remember focusing on the ground, focusing, focusing, focusing, and got prepared for the impact both mentally and physically. As the ground came closer I envisioned my legs as "steel springs", and got my body ready. Knees bent, tighten the butt and thighs, always, always, always keep the knees slightly bent. It was like a feeling of doing a reverse squat if you will, the only difference being that instead of having the weight already on your shoulders and then exploding upwards, you are simple mentally prepared as the weight becomes your own body weight multiplied times the acceleration rate you are traveling. I remember hitting the ground with such force I cannot really explain the feeling, it was just like "BA-BOOM". I hit so hard that afterwords they told me that I must have "bounced" at least 50 feet in the air. This makes sense because I had no fear during the whole thing but I became scared the second after I hit the ground when I saw how high I was still in the air. I simply had never "bounced" that high before. Then I hit and "bounced" for the second time (I had bounced so high the first time that I could not do my shoulder roll for the landing, I had to "bounce" again and then do the shoulder roll) and on the second "bounce" I was disoriented because I never had "bounced" twice before and I twisted my knee on the landing. I remember it was day time it was cold and I had landed in a field. I was lost in the tall grass. I said to my self "GET UP! GET UP YOU SON OF A BITCH." And I managed to stand up and I saw men running towards me, I tried to walk but I collapsed right there. They come over to me and Mr. Green starts yelling at me "STAND UP! GET UP! I SAID STAND UP!" I yell back at him "I'M TRYING" and as hard as I tried I could not get my legs under me. Some of the men pulled me to my feet and tried to help me walk, but the whole experience had left me totally exhausted. I mean I felt like I was drained of every ounce of strength that I could possible gather together. I begged them telling them "I'm all right, just please let me rest for a minute."
Finally they laid me down in the field and I passed out. I don't know how long I was out for but they had to wake me up because it was getting to be dusk. I could walk now but only with help, they put me in the back seat and I fell right to sleep. I woke up in front of the dorm again and they helped me to my room and then put me to bed. I don't remember how long I was asleep for but it was for a long while.
The Funding Then came a night I will not soon forget. It was the same situation as when they threw me out of the plane. Only this time it was dusk. I remember a man throwing me out of the plane. I am falling, I don't know where I am, I can't see the ground. Everything goes black. I flash into "my room" in my mind I am hurt very badly. My legs are not working, I cannot make it into the pool. It is hard to breath. Some how I manage to pull my self into the pool. I am hurt very badly. I reach for the "super top secret green formula" which is duck tapped to the poster board. If I break it the healing pool will become one hundred million times more powerful then it already is. I grab it with almost my last breath and break it open. The pool instantly turns from yellow to green and starts to bubble violently. Heal, heal, heal, I tell myself. Everything goes black. I see my body, I am floating upwards above it. My eyes and mouth are open and expressionless. My back is twisted like a question mark. "NOOOOO" I scream. Everything is black again. I hear voices, they are saying "I SAW HIM MOVE" then another voice says "Don't be ridiculous he is as dead as they come." Then the first voice again "I'M TELLING YOU I SAW HIM MOVE." All is quiet and black for a long while.
I open my eyes, every thing is black, but not quite as black as before. Some light is coming from the sides. Something is on top of me, and it is very cold. With my left arm I try and move this thing that is on top of me. I grab it, it is made of plastic. I remember the texture of the plastic as it has become semi-ridged from the cold temperature. It is a thin plastic yet it was not fragile. It was made of a dark plastic. They had laid some kind of body bag on top of me, to cover me. I push it aside with ease. I cannot move but I am looking up toward the sky. I remember it was a crystal clear night and the stars looked magnificent. Then I tried to move, I managed to roll over on to my left side. Then I put my right hand on the ground and tried to push my self up. AT THAT MOMENT I HEARD AND FELT EVERY BONE IN MY BACK AND BODY CRACK AND POP LIKE A CHIROPPRACTOR HAD JUST DONE A "TOTAL" BODY ADJUSTMENT ALL IN ONE SHOT. After the cracking and popping had stopped I paused for a moment in the position that I was in. That moment seemed to last forever, and it felt like a "cross roads" in my life. I remember thinking "GET UP! JUST GET UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT!. STAND UP!" and I stood up. I was all right, I was somehow all right, I have no idea how or why but I was all right.
I looked around, it was night.
I was in the middle of a field, just like the one I had jumped into before during the day. I am standing but my vision is very hazy. It is very difficult to make out objects. All to my right and up a slight incline is a group of men. All I can see is their shadows as they are standing in a circle and there is a lantern in the middle of them. I would estimate 10 to 15 men in all. I start walking towards the group. In the dark I pass two men walking away from the group. As I pass them I casually say "What's up" and they acknowledge me with a similar response. When I get to the group I stand about a foot and a half behind and in between two men. Like a curious kid I am sticking my head in trying to listen in. I see Adolph getting his ass chewed out by another man who I had never seen before. This guy was dressed implacably in a good suit and overcoat.
He is screaming at the man with Adolph "YOU CALL THIS A DEMONSTRATION! YOU DRAG ME OUT HERE TO WATCH YOU COMMIT MURDER ON A COLLEGE KID!. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR F*CKING MIND?" and he was going on and on. Just at that point the man directly to my left looks at me. His face turns as white as a ghost. His mouth is open with a cigarette stuck to his lip. I am looking at him and I ask "Whatís going on?" He in turn hits the man to his left. The man to his left is ignoring him, so he hits him again. Finally he gets his attention and he turns to the man who is hitting him and says "WHAT" and the first man points to me. The second man sees me and his face turns as white as a ghost. The second man then yells to Adolph, and he repeats himself until he gets his attention. The second man then points to me. Adolph then turns as white as a ghost. By now every one is looking at me and all conversation has stopped. Everyone is looking at me so I turn around to see what they are looking at, but all I can see is darkness. So I turn around and say "What the f*ck is every body looking at?" The Adolph comes over to me and grabs the lantern on his way over. He spins me around to examine my back. He sees that I am all right and he asks me "What happened" and I say with all sincerity "I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED! SOME ASS-HOLE JUST PUSHED ME OUT OF A F*CKING PLANE." My tone then sobers and I say "I couldn't see the ground, and I wrecked, I almost didn't make it. At that point the two men who I had passed in the dark come back to the circle and start yelling "ALL RIGHT WHO HAS BEEN F*CKING AROUND WITH THE BODY." They then see me and their mouths drop wide open. Adolph tells me he wants to introduce me to someone. He brings me over to the well dressed man and like a proud father introduces me. The man was either a senator or a congressmen, I can't be for certain but I'm about 90% sure he was a Senator. I was introduced but I cannot remember his name. It's like on the tip of my tongue, but for the life of me I just can't remember his name. Anyway, he turns to Adolph and asks "Was this all part of the demonstration?" and Adolph shakes his head no. The Senator then said "If I didnít see it with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it. NO F*CKING WAY!!!! JESUS CHRIST that was f*cking unbelievable!!!! I step in and interject and say "I know it's not my place but do you think we could get some of that night vision shit? I couldn't see the ground and it almost killed me!" and a chorus of nervous laughter erupts. The well dressed man puts his arm on my shoulder and says "Anything you need from me you f*cking got it." My guess is what just happened was they just got unlimited funding. An open check book, this is when things dramatically changed.
As we were packing up to leave, one of the men asks me "Rhino, what do you want? you name it and you got it." I say "OK.. I want an ice cream." He nervously starts to laugh "you want an ice cream?" he asks. "Yes, I want an ice cream", and he says "you f*cking got it". We get in the car and drive back to town, I know it was late because all the stores were closed. But by god he was going to get me my ice cream. He ends up by-passing the alarm and breaking into a "Baskin Robinís 31 flavors" ice cream store. And he says "what flavor do you want". I said "chocolate". He got pissed off at this because he could have gone to the local food store in stead of breaking in, but I said "thank you" and ate my ice cream, they took me home, and I went to bed.
The "Military" lab Now at the big lab is when things were different. This is when the military directly got involved and this is what happened.
First off, the big lab used to be a pretty barren place (it was a huge room inside some kind of facility). With a few things in there (the squat rack etc..). BUT NOW, there is all kinds of stuff, a huge water tank, this electronic punching square, and ALL kinds of electronic shock equipment. It was like a different place. It was full.
I'm standing there and I hear arguing going on. I see Mr. Green (the man in the army uniform), he is arguing with the man with the white hair (Adolph, the German Nazi). From what I could put together it was about who now had control of this project. The Mr. Green is saying that this is a "Military matter now" and Adolph is telling him to "GO F*CK HIMSELF", and that they just cannot come in here and push him out. What ended up happening I think was the Military "Officially" took over the project at that point, but as it turns out they needed Adolph because he was the only one who could control me as he was the one who had done the initial programming of me (I remember him as far back as age 5 when I lived in Munich with my family). He knew all of the trigger words, and how my mind was programmed. As a result of this the Military named him as "the director" of the project. So, he was involved and still had some power (or at least he thought he did).
Here is what happened, the Military brings in it's own group of lab doctors. They were a pack of 5 or 6 men (all men) all wearing these baby blue lab coats. The head instructor (it was a fair assumption to assume he was the head instructor by his mannerisms and attitude towards all the others) instructs me to "strip down to my underwear", I do not move. He yells it at me again "do it, NOW", again I don't move. He becomes very pissed off and starts ranting on and on about "what the f*ck is going on around here ..etc..etc.." Adolph comes over and tells me to "strip," and I immediately do it. This really pisses of the head lab coat man, and at the same time really pleases Adolph. As this not only keeps Adolph "in the loop" but it makes him a very intricate part of the project (the man in the blue lab coat tried several times to "undo" this part of my programming and the man with the white hair found out about it and almost killed him).
Anyway, this is what happened next. I remember stripping down to my underwear, and then I spoke. This shocked everyone because I never spoke unless spoken to. I said "I have to keep my pledge pin on me at all times, even in the shower, I must have it on the towel". I was very upset about this. I was pledging the fraternity Delta Kappa Epsilon and as a pledge you MUST ALWAYS have your pledge pin on. It was a triangle pin and the three sides were colored red, blue and gold. Again, the head man in the blue lab coat starts yelling at the man with the white hair and black leather coat "what kind of show are you running here, I thought you said he was thoroughly prepared etc..etc..". Meanwhile one of the other lab guys picks up my cloths and starts to walk away with them. He gets three or four steps away and like a tiger I pounce on him. I grab him by his throat with my right hand and rip my shirt away from him with my left.
All of a sudden 5 or 6 guys leap on the both of us and they pry his neck from my hand. The man with the white hair immediately jumps in and tells me to stand up and not to f*cking move. They start arguing again, all of a sudden one of the men with the white haired man from the original group from the back yells "HOLD IT" and he walks over, picks up my shirt, takes the pin off of my shirt and pins it on the elastic band of my underwear. "NOW ARE YOU HAPPY" he says to me. "NO" I say. Why he asks? "IT'S NOT RIGHT" I say. "WHAT'S WRONG" he asks. I look down to the pin on my hip, and I turn it so the gold side is flat on top. "THERE" I say. "WHAT WAS THAT?" He asks. "IT ALWAYS HAS TO BE SUNNY SIDE UP!" I answer. "Are you happy now" he asks. "I'M VERY HAPPY NOW" I answer, as a chorus of laughter erupts as I stood there and could not move.
They then had me perform some simple strength tests (squeezing things, the squat rack etc). That was my first visit to the lab with the military doctors there. I assumed all along that they were military "doctors" (and I use the term "doctor" very loosely because a "Doctor" of what these guys were I have no idea).
I could see out of the corner of my eye the conversations that were going on. From the tones and mannerisms I could tell that the head lab instructor was the man running the show, the expert in the field. Adolph turned out to be my "coach" if you will. But it was very apparent that the man in green was the authority in the room. He would sort of stand off to the side with Adolph all the time. But when something went wrong or he wanted something repeated, I could not see him, but I would hear his voice come from some where in the room. And when he spoke everyone reacted.
What this does for me however, is we can now date this event. I was a pledge in my fraternity, freshmen year from October of 1988 through February of 1989. So these events must have happened somewhere in that time frame!
As a lab rat After that, when I entered the lab, the head man with the baby blue lab coat was the one I hated, I mean I wanted to kill this guy. He was about 5'-8" or 5'-9" with wavy brown hair, brown eyes, and thick brown rimed glasses. He had a medium build and seemed only focused on "the results". He didn't care how bad the pain was or if I died right there on the spot. I believe he was a Nazi scientist who did their work in the most basic and horrific concentration camp type fashion. All he cared about was the data. This guy was the most inhumanly cruel son of a bitch that I think ever walked the face of the earth. From the things that he did to me, the experiments that followed, the impression that I got was that he was so removed from any emotion or any pity within his work that he basically thought of me as nothing more than, literally, a piece of shit. With no more regard for my life then one would give to a lab rat.
"The Juice" Now with the new head man the experiments seemed to have increased in their viciousness. Now it was back to the table where they would strap me down and began giving me the shock treatments again. They would hook me up with electrodes and give me "the juice". Giving me shock through my genitals, through a needle in my ear. They were on, in, and all over my body. The man in the blue lab coat instructed me to "to turn off" all of my nerve endings at the main junction box in the blue room in my mind. I remember looking at the ceiling and then this sort of tickling or numbing sensation comes over me. As it continues to increase I start to "switch". "Hold it back" I am saying to my self "hold it back!" until finally I just cannot and begin to start screaming as I am now violently shaking on the table. Everything is black for a while, but then is see my body. I am floating upward and I see my self with people all around me and they are trying to restart my heart. Then everything goes black again and I "flash" into the blue room in my mind. I am dragging myself toward the healing pool as I am hurt badly and I struggle over the short wall and "flop" into the pool. In my mind I close my eyes and submerge under the green bubbling water and just think "Heal yourself! Heal yourself!" When I open my eyes again I am back in the lab. Laying on my back on the table looking up at the ceiling again. I struggle to sit up and the lab is now empty and I fall back on my back again. I try and swing my legs over the edge I do and I fall off the table and hit the floor. I try to get up but my legs cannot support me and I fall to the floor again. "GET UP" I am saying to my self "GET UP!!! YOU F*CKING SON OF A BITCH, STAND UP AND WALK", it was like being hit in the head with a base ball bat when you are extremely drunk. The world is spinning, but somehow your instinct takes over and all you want to do is get away. I head for the door as fast as I can. Which turns out to be not very fast as I am trying to walk but cannot, it was more of a crawl. I make it to the door, and turn down the hall way, within moments they are all around me. Astonished that I'm first of all alive and secondly that I have moved at all, like I am even less than a lab rat, they stand around and start discussing me, as I'm trying to crawl with every ounce of strength I have. I am collapsed in a ball on the floor with my face stuck in the crack where the wall meets the floor. And as I hear them talking I cannot help my self and I start to cry uncontrollably "PLEASE! PLEASE! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE" I beg. And the bastard in the blue lab coat says "get him back in the lab now!" And they pick me up and bring me back, and strap me back onto the table. But I don't remember anything after that.
Another time they put me in a tank of water and sealed the top, to see if I could breath under water. The first few times I managed to escape before I drowned to death. But then they finally got a tank that I could not break and had a sealed top. I remember violently trying to get out but could not. I drowned and I black out, I see my body again, as I am floating above it again. This time they are pumping my chest trying to get the water out of my lungs. I see my face, my eyes and my mouth are open. And again I flash to the healing pool and flop myself in (at some point I don't know exactly when I had added a little "handicapped" ramp to the pool so I wouldn't have as much trouble when I had to enter the pool) but again when I opened my eyes I am looking at the ceiling again.
I would always try to get up and try to run down the hall and they would always tackle me before I could escape. The dimensions of how far I was actually going were very unclear. Very blurry and hazy around the edges. It seemed to take forever to get anywhere, and they seemed to move much faster than I could. But each time I got a little further down the hall and I was a little stronger when I came out of it.
I remember this happening several times. With both the water tank and the electroshock experiments. The dying and coming back to life. Just like with airplane to get the funding. Seeing my body and then automatically going right to the healing pool. And the healing pool would always somehow bring me back.
They were trying to see what I was capable of doing. They were obsessed with asking me if I could move object with my mind. If I could float in the air. If I could make objects float in the air. What they were trying to do was to place a suggestion in my subconscious and then see if I could do it. See if I really believed that I could do it. Like telling me that I could breath underwater and then locking me in a tank until I drowned and then revive me again. Telling me that I could fly, and then push me off a ledge. Things like that. Here is the limitation as to what I could do and what I couldn't do as best as I can figure out. You see I had already learned as a child that humans physically cannot breath under water, and humans physically cannot fly. I already knew this and it was embedded too far in my thought process to be removed. So even with their hypnosis and conditioning somewhere deep down inside me I knew that I could not do these things. So naturally I could not do them when they asked me to. However what they could do is "fool" my mind. Telling me things like I had an egg in my hand and to crush it when in reality it would be a tennis ball or a can of soda. Fooling my mind into thinking that everything I jumped off of was only as high as a footstool. Fooling my mind into believing that I could run as fast as a cheetah and be as agile as a gazelle. Fooling my mind into believing that when I shot a gun I was a computerized robot that shot with pin point accuracy.
It is more difficult for an adult to learn a foreign language than it is for a child because the adult mind is already "structured" in may ways. Adults already seem know the limits of their capabilities and potential, and most NEVER strive to be anything more that what the parameters of the society in which they belong to and have grow up in bind to them. Take for example inner city blacks, most truly believe that they will never escape the grasp of the getto, so most accept this as a fact and don't even try to escape through some other avenue. Such as trying to do well in high school and trying somehow to get into college, or by learning a trade or high paying skill, or by some other "legal" avenue. They simply enter into a gang where the odds of then being shot and killed is vastly higher that anywhere else. They do this because they TRULY BELIEVE this is their fate. If you ask the average 40 or 50 year old adult if they have achieved their goals in life and what they dreamed of becoming as a child, 95 percent would say "no". And then you ask them "why not?? What's stopping you?" Most would give some economic reason or they would say "I'm too old".. or "I missed my chance!" "WHY CAN'T YOU GO AFTER YOUR DREAM!.. WHO SAYS.. THAT YOU CANNOT DO IT! YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD AND IT IS NEVER TOO LATE!" I say and I believe. Life all boil's down to fear, and whether or not you really have the courage to find out what you are really made of! That's why most adults find themselves in a job they really aren't happy with and yet they don't diverse into anything else, or they stay in an unhappy marriage for years and years. Why? Because of fear! The fear of being alone, fear of making changes, fear of taking risks, fear of failing. Earlier I had talked about how the coaches told me that I wasn't running as fast as the 40 times indicated, and after a while I started to believe them, and as a result I unconsciously slowed down. This is what I mean. By the time someone becomes an adult they have already stated to "slow down". Society has already set up the parameters of their fate, and they have mentally accepted it. But as children, none of these restrictive parameters apply. A young mind is like a damp sponge ready to absorb any information you drop on it. I had already absorbed the fact that I could not breath under water, and this fact could not be "undone", therefore when they put me in the tank and sealed the lid, I drowned. It would however be a very interesting experiment to see what would happen if you took a child as a baby and raised them in a world where they did not ever learn the "parameters" of this world. The restrictions and the laws of physics. How would they turn out? This is basically what they are doing, with the small oversight that they are doing it with the youth of America, WITH the written consent of the United States Military/Government.
After each shock episode when I regained consciousness, I would try to escape. Each time I would get a little farther down the hall, and after each time I seemed to be a little stronger. One time as men are grabbing me I threw a few of them off me and Adolph grabs me. I could not break his grasp, and we fell to the ground. As he is holding me he said "Rhino, it's me, your safe, Rhino Iím your father!" I specifically remember I said "Your not my father, my father lives in Connecticut and get your hands off me you f*cking asshole" and I spit right in his left eye. As we were struggling, someone stuck me in the ass with a syringe and I blacked out.
One time I remember waking up and now in the lab are several men. I get off the table and I am standing. They try and force me to the ground. "NO" I scream and all of a sudden it was like I had the strength of ten men. I threw those two to the ground and then three more grab me and I am wrestling with them three more grabbed me. Some around my waist some around my body and they are trying too get me to the ground. I am freaking out and fighting back with all my might. I would throw them off me like they were the size of 5 year olds but like ants they kept swarming on me and no matter how many I threw off more were always on me. There were at least six guys on me and they thought I was spent, but I had paused for that exact reason. Then in one burst I was driving with all my might towards the man in the blue lab coat. I got to only a few feet away when they wrestled me to the ground and stuck me in the ass again with the syringe. Just before they stuck me, and then after but before I blacked out again. I remember the men screaming "hurry up.. and just stick him anywhere". Then as the drugs disabled me to move I could still hear them for a minute or two. It was black but I could still hear then talking and one guy said "Jesus! that was like trying to wrestle a bull for Christ sake" and the other guy says "I don't know about a bull but how about a Rhino."
And they all began laughing at me. The next time, as I was coming to they stuck me within 5 seconds of me opening my eyes they stuck me with the needle but still I managed to over power three or for guys including throwing Mr. Green himself into the hallway wall. I got to the hallway and ran for the door. They tackled me about 20 yards from the door to the outside and then piled on me until they could administer another shot to me.
One time instead of trying to run down the hall I decided to hide instead. I managed to place a chair on top of the table and then knock the ceiling panel out of it's place. I managed to grab hold of the "I" beam and I pulled my self up and I wrapped my self around some of the supports. Everything was covered with about an inch of dust, but I didn't care, I held on in the filth with all I had. I heard the alarm go off and as they could not find me. Finally, after a long while and when they could not find me, they reviewed the video tape because the camera was always watching me. On the film they saw me climbing up into the ceiling and they came and got me. I began screaming "NO MORE! PLEASE NO MORE" and they hooked me back up to the electrodes and gave me more juice and more torture.
The next time I awoke there were six guys holding me down already and the needle was already in my arm. I freaked out like never before and again managed to get off the table and then the 10 man pile up commenced and they stuck me again.
Finally they got smart and after all their resuscitation efforts failed they would re-strap me to the table because they knew I would come back sooner or later. When I awoke and I had these "straps" on me and I was freaking out. All I remember is the bright ceiling lights and then shadows would come over me and I would black out again.
I don't know how many times this happened if it was all in the same night or if it was during different nights. As I became stronger and stronger, finally I ripped free of the straps. I didn't rip the thick leather straps themselves, I ripped them off from where they were connected to the table. Then when I had my left arm free I unbuckled my right and then undid my legs. I was off the table, the lab is empty except for that son of a bitch in the baby blue lab coat and his assistant. His back is turned to me and I walk very quietly over to him. I want to see the look on his face when he sees me free. I walk up behind him, and when the son of a bitch turns around and sees me all he says with no change in his facial expression is "What do you want?" I instantly grab him by his throat with my left hand and with my arm that is like a "Hydraulic vice" I crush his throat as easily and with as much effort as it takes to crush an empty beer can. Then I let him go. He flops around for a while like a fish out of water gasping for air holding his throat. With in seconds he stops moving. I turn to my right and look at the lab assistant. He sees me looking at him and drops his clipboard. The look of fear in his eyes is unforgettable. He has short brown hair, and brown eyes. He is about 5'-9" with a thin build. I start to walk over to him. He is backing up as far and as fast as he can go, when he reaches the wall he looks away from me as he is pressing his body as flat as it can go. He starts screaming "NO! PLEASE NO" and I grab him by the shirt. He passes out and I just drop him to the floor as I had nothing against him personally for he was just the assistant, and I let him live. I head for the door, and turn right into the hallway. I start running for the outer doors and I am about half way down the hallway when about six or seven guys leap out of no where from a connecting hallway and tackle me. I am wrestling with them, I throw some off and some more jump on the pile. They stick me with the needle again, and then again, and then again until I am subdued.
When I wake up I am standing in front of the body. The man with the white hair is yelling at me. I felt like a puppy who had just gone to the bathroom on the good rug for the first time. "WHAT IS THIS?" he yells. "WHAT DID YOU DO? LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!" As he was yelling at me I didn't feel bad about it, and I felt no shame. All I could think about was "Your next you piece of shit and if I could move I would kill you right here you f*cking ass-hole". They were controlling my body, but somehow inside my mind still tried to fight on. Even though I couldn't move my body "Andy" was still inside somewhere.
The Electric fence As the electric shock, torture, and the beatings continued, once I got away. I woke up after seeing my body and "flashing" into the green healing pool in my mind. I pretended to be injured (like a lame duck) as I entered into the hallway. The men all came running at first but then when they saw me crawling they slowed to a walk. When they were almost on top of me, with one burst of all the energy I had, I exploded into them knocking a few of them down and I broke free and I was by them. I ran in my underwear for the door to the outside. I got outside and I began running around the facility looking for a way out. I knew it was very cold outside because I could see my breath. It was snowing and there were large patches of snow already on the ground. As I circled the complex there was a large fence all around the outside with large metal signs every 15 yards or so with the skull and cross bones on it and the words "Warning Electric fence". I was trapped, the fence was in front of me and to my back, as I turned around, were about 10 men in a semi-circle closing in on me. I back away from the fence and I am going to try and jump it. Adolph is in the middle of the semi-circle and yells "Rhino! NO! DON'T DO IT!" But I was not listening as I was like a cornered animal not thinking just looking for a way out. So I backed up and ran at the fence. I hear the man with the white hair yell "NO! DON'T DO IT!" but I leap for the fence anyway. The only part of my body that touched the fence was the palms of my hands as I had leaped up and grabbed the very top of the fence (the top row of barbed wire) and did sort of a flip over the fence. But that was enough as I was instantly electrocuted. I remember laying in the snow for a while, with smoke or steam coming off my body and the smell of burnt hair in the air. I hear behind me the men yelling "F*CK! WHY DID HE HAVE TO DO THAT", they were actually expressing some grief that I was dead. I hear them talking and I look ahead of me. There is nothing but open woods ahead. Something inside me says "GET UP! GET UP YOU F*CKING SON OF A BITCH AND RUN, GET YOUR ASS UP AND RUN! RUN YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!" I MANAGED TO GET UP but then I fell right back on my face. The men behind the fence saw me move and now with new puissance ran around the building and were heading for the gate. I was not about to wait for them. I managed to get my self up and I ran with all my might for the woods. I heard them behind me but not for very long. The next thing I remember is running on the outer edges of the campus. I have no idea how I got there, how I knew where I was going, or how long I was running in my underwear in the snow. All I remember is running and saying to my self "You can make it! almost home! you can make it". I remember people were looking at me as I was now running across the campus. I had land marks, I knew where I was, almost home. I make it back to the dorm room. I get to the elevator and a bunch of girls are getting on with me. They start laughing at me and I collapse in the corner of the elevator. I said "Please! Please just push 4 for me." I manage to get out at the 4th floor and run for my room. My room is of course all the way at the end of the hall way. The next to last room located by the one-way fire door which leads to the stairs. I'm praying that Brian is there and the door is open. The door handle turns and I literally fall into the room. Brian is on the phone, as I fall in front of him he says "He's here call me back" and hangs up the phone.
Brian takes one look at me and grabs the comforter off his bed and wraps it around me as my skin is bright red and I am shaking violently from the cold. He gets off my underwear and puts my bathrobe on my shoulders and walks me to the showers. He puts me in the shower and turns the hot water on. I can see the steam rising from the hot water but I cannot feel anything on my skin. "DON'T F*CKING MOVE FROM THAT STALL" he yells at me, and he leaves. I must have stood in that shower for hours, until finally I got some feeling back in my skin and my fingers were getting puny. I am still in some sort of shock as I put my robe on and try and head for my room. When I get to my door I hear arguing going on inside. I hear Brian yelling "WHAT THE F*CK DID YOU DO TO HIM" and then I hear Mr. Green's voice answer "THAT'S NONE OF YOU BUSINESS" and I open the door and see Brian, Mr. Green, Adolph, and a few other guys all in my room, and I just black out.
I wake up and I am in my bunk bed, I look over the side and Brian is at the door talking to Mr. Green, he sees me and yells at me to "Go back to sleep! This is all a bad dream", he then says a more few words to Mr. Green and closes the door. I am still looking at him and he yells again "I SAID GO BACK TO F*CKING SLEEP! THIS IS ALL A BAD DREAM!" I fall asleep and wake up the next morning having had a horrific nightmare. But I can hardly move as I have a very bad cold. Flu like symptoms but by that night they were gone again and I felt fine.
Back in the dorm Meanwhile what is happening back in the dorm room and during school while all this is going on? I remember strange things happening in my normal life during school. My high school sweet heart "Dawn" had gone to a different college so I was not that interested in meeting different girls anyway as I was loyal to her and her alone. But all the girls as well as most of the people I knew thought I was the biggest ass-hole because I didn't talk much to anyone. During classes, in the hallways, at parties or anywhere. The only people I had spoken to were the football players and the coaches. This was my "world" as far as walking to and from classes I always had my Walkman on. People made jokes that they thought it was "glued" to my head.
On the football team, I earned a starting spot on the best team Rochester had had in their 100 years of having a football team. As suddenly as I had earned the starting spot, the next week the coaches told me that I was no longer going to be the starter and I was benched. I go in as to ask why, and then my coach, coach Marz tells me that there are "other forces at work" and he has this glazed look in his eyes like he wants to tell me something but he cannot. Looking back I think they wanted to keep me as quite as possible. In other words, the last thing they wanted me to do is go off and be a great football star, with news papers and the media. So I think they went to the coaches and told them not to play me, to bench me because they could not take the chance of my face getting on the news.
During parents weekend freshmen year my father came up for the event. During one of the evenings the school had hired a "Stage Hypnotist" for a show after dinner. In the main cafeteria they had set up chairs probably over to 2000 seats. The hypnotist asks for volunteers to be in the show and he starts picking people out of the audience to come up and be hypnotized. I am waving my hand like crazy and the guy picks some people who are right near me and passes me by. I say "fuck this I'm going up there anyway" because I really wanted to do this for some reason.
So I join the pack of people that are heading up toward the stage (because he is selecting about 30 people to go up). I get all the way up to the stage and sit in one of the fold out chairs they have on stage. He then is about to start the show when a man in a Green army uniform then comes over to the side of the stage and tell the stage hypnotist that I cannot participate. And the guy tells me that I must go back to my seat. I remember being humiliated as I had to walk all the way back to my seat in front of the crowd. As I was walking back I start yelling "THEY DON'T WANT ME." I say. During the whole show I'm very pissed off. After the show I remember going up to the performer and telling him that "I am a victim of a government hypnosis mind control experiment and can he help me?" My father is right there for all of this. The hypnotist then asks me "Who is doing this to you?" and I point to the two men leaning up against the wall (it's Mr. Green and the man with the white hair, Adolph), then he did something, either brought out his watch on a string or said something to me and zap I am under his spell. I remember introducing my father to both Adolph and Mr. Green, we were right there in the cafeteria against the wall then they made us follow them into a more quite place. There I think they made my father forget the whole incident and made me shut the hell up. To this day when I ask my father about the stage hypnotist at parents weekend freshmen year he vaguely remembers the event, being there, but that's it. Nothing about meeting the men against the wall and nothing about going to a more secure place to erase his memory.
I remember walking back to my room from practice one day and a kid, a skinny kid (about 180 pounds), comes up to me in front of my dorm room and says "Your Andy Pero right?" and I say "Yes". Then he says "You live with Brian XXXXXX from irondiquite right?" and I say "YES". Then he says "I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL YOUR ROOMATE IS BUT I'M BRIAN XXXXXX FROM IRONDIQUITE!" I say "don't be ridicules you don't look anything like Brian XXXXXX from Irondiquite." I go inside and tell my roommate Brian "Hey Brian some kid out in the parking lot says he is you" and I start laughing. He says what kid, and I point at him through the window. My roommate runs out the door and goes out to talk to the kid. I never saw that kid again.
I remember Mrs. Purrizzo and the woman with the black hair coming up to Rochester several times and wanting me to take her and her friend to a hotel room. I told her that I could not because I already had a girl friend, and that it wouldn't be right and because I wouldn't want it done to me. She said that I was more addictive then pure cocaine, and she is addicted. She must have me. Again I told her no. Her and her friend came up 3 or 4 times. I let them buy me dinner once, but that was it. Once after I had shot them down, they met some of the seniors on the football team out at a local bar and had made it with them, and I heard about it. They gave me a lot of shit about it because I must have been crazy because these women were beautiful. So why did I shoot them down? They kept asking me and I would just tell them that it was a long story.
One of the most disturbing memories I have about school is I remember people coming forward to try and help me. I remember a physics professor coming up to me and talking to me about what the were doing to me. How he had figured out the jump in Wilson Commons should have for all intents and purposes killed me. How I was going close to 32 feet sec/sec. And how the military probably was having me jump off high things and out of planes. And he asked if he was right. Then he told me not to tell anyone but they were organizing a case against the government.
What Adolph had done to me was to instructed me that if ANYONE started asking ANY questions that I would immediately report this back to him with all the names, and details of the questions and what was said during the whole conversation. I couldn't control my self. I couldn't NOT tell him, I had no control. So everyone that tried to help me I turned them in, and ratted them out. I remember the physics professor disappearing. I remember the dean and a few others trying to help me, and then I ratted them out as well.
I remember running across campus. As soon as I would see them coming for me, I would just start running. I would just take off and as I ran in between people some would yell "RUN ANDY RUN." I remember jumping over things and off ledges as they chased me. The thing is I would always run home, I would run home to Brian.
Second semester (after Christmas break and after Hell week in my fraternity) about mid February Brian starts me on Steroids. He convinces me that it's the best thing for me and I go along with it without any argument. He is a steroid guru and starts to explain all the different options I have. I tell him that I didn't know that much about it, so he tries to explain the different injection options. Where you can take straight testosterone or what's better is to take a "cocktail" of different drugs to have maximum effect. I tell him that I want just the straight testosterone but he gets me the cocktail anyway. I object but seem to have no choice but to go along with it. Next he tells me you should "stack" your cycle. What this means is that along with the injections you should also take an oral steroid as well on top of you injection. The way he explained it was that the injection was going to be for "bulk" and the oral was to "cut you up" (to give your muscles definition at the same time). And of course I go along with the pills as well as the needle.
A "normal" cycle of steroids consists of taking the drugs for an eight week cycle. Then if you want to continue you need to take eight weeks off. And then repeat the cycle. A normal cycle of testosterone consists of 1 cc per week for eight weeks. My cycle consisted of 1 cc the first week, 1 1/2 cc's the second weeK. 2 cc's the third week, 2 1/2 cc's the four week, 3 cc's the 5th and 6th week, then 2 cc's the 7th week and finally 1 cc the 8th wee. The pills were very small and they were pink. The needles were 1 1/2 inches long used for deep muscle injection, what the liquid they were injecting me with was I have no idea. The little pink pills I didn't think could do much for me, I was supposed to take two per day, I was taking two per hour, and then when mine ran out I started stealing Brian's. By the end of my sixth week my muscles had grown so much and they were so tight that the needle would not go through my skin. It was like trying to put a needle into wood, and that was with the muscle in my leg being relaxed. I was also having severe chest pains. My heart felt like it was going to explode so I never finished the steroid cycle. The massive steroid doses is just about the time I was being pushed out of the airplanes. So for some reason Brian gets on my case about not finishing the steroid cycle. "Dude finish your cycle! you have got to finish your cycle!. And don't masturbate so much" he tells me. How would he know what I do, he was never there when I gave my self the injection or if I masturbated. They must have a camera in my room. I remember searching the room and finding a camera in the light where they had been watching me. As soon as I found the camera some men came pounding on my door and that's all I remember.
I remember Brian and his girlfriend Gwen. The first eight weeks of the second semester Brian was never there. I had the room to my self. Totally by my self. The second eight weeks Gwen had moved in. She was always there and let me tell you this was annoying. Gwen made several passes at me, and I turned her down every time. After the school year was almost over Brian and Gwen sit me down and he tells me "Dude, this is going to blow your mind, but we are not really boyfriend and girlfriend." "What do you mean?" I ask. "We have been assigned together, and we have been watching you." "Who has been watching me?" I ask. "The people we work for" he says. "Which is who" I ask. He says "Dude who do you think runs the country". "The government" I answer. They both start laughing, "Dude are you ignorant enough to believe that the country is really run by the government! The country is really run by special interests groups, very very powerful groups and they want you to be a part of their group. They want to bring you into their family!" When I heard that my head started to spin and I blacked out. After I came around, I went for a walk. My head was still spinning, I didn't know what to do, when I went back to my room the man with the white hair was there, I tried to run but he said the "magic" word and I was helpless to move, and I forgot all about it for years.
I also remember being in a trial, being on the witness stand. I am talking but I don't know what is coming out of my mouth. People start screaming at me as I am talking but I don't know what I am saying. They are yelling "he is brainwashed". It was the trial of the girl who was killed when they were chasing me across campus. The next time on the stand a man stands up all by himself and "whacks" two blocks of wood together. I snap out of it and the crowd is going crazy. I believed it was the trial of the girl and they made me say that the girl was killed in the name of "national security". When the man whacked the blocks together the man with the white hair quickly gets me off the stand and gets me out of there. That's all I remember, the man with the two blocks, and people starting to scream when they heard what was coming out of my mouth.
I think all of my friends as well as the whole campus thought that I was working for the FBI or something.
The Big tank- Back at the Big lab the experiments that followed were on a much higher scale of sophistication compared to when we first started. I believe that this is about the time they were giving me the massive steroid injections. One of the first things they did to me was they brought me into another room. There is this huge tub of water. Approximately 7 feet deep (because I could not touch) and about 7 feet across (like a huge square). They bring me up to the platform, and the man with the white hair tells me I'm going to take a swim. He tells me to strip down to my underwear and then instructs me that the water is the same temperature as "a nice warm hot bath." I get in and spend hours splashing around and actually enjoying it. I know it had to be hours because there were at least 10 people or so watching me for the first few minutes or so. I'm a "pool hound" to begin with so naturally I'm hamming it up, splashing around, doing some short laps etc. Every time I grabbed the side of the tub they got very upset (by they I mean everyone who was watching me would yell out all at once "DON'T TOUCH THE SIDE"). OK I said. Why? I ask. "Because we are trying to see how long you can tread water" they answered. "OK", I answered and continued to play in the tub, it was like a game to me. After a while the people started to filter out, and after a very long while they were all gone except one guy in the baby blue lab coat. He was sitting all the way against the back far wall leaning his chair up against the wall. He says to me "I'll be right back." "Where are you going?" I ask. "To get a sandwich, I'll be right back and don't you f*cking move." He leaves and now I am alone. Now minutes seem like hours as I am alone treading water in this huge steel "can" and I look at my hands and they are all "pruny" so I say to my self "screw this" and I get out of the tub. I walk around the lab and nothing interests me, so then I walk into the hallway. Some one sees me and screams at me "why are you out of the tub?" and all of a sudden people start running towards me from everywhere. "I'm bored, can you get me a raft of something" I ask. Adolph starts half yelling and half laughing at me and I get back in again. They bring me one of those "kick boards" which you see at the YMCA during swim class which are in the shape of a tombstone. I ask for two and a football.
They ask me why and I tell them "so I can sit on the boards and have a catch with someone." They produce the second kick board within a few minutes. The football came sometime later (which seemed to be an eternity to me). It was one of those orange nerf footballs. I specifically remember this because I was having a catch with one of the men from the man with the white hair's group. I'm bobbing on the water with the two kicking boards stacked, and squeezed between my legs as I sit on them. To get more leverage, I would grab the edge of the tub with my right hand and throw with my left as I am left handed. After a while I became bored again. So, as a joke, I dunked the nerf ball in the nice warm bath water and I threw it to the guy I was having a catch with. He was only ten or fifteen yards away but I threw it as hard as I could. It was a perfect spiral and I hit him right in the chest. The thing is, it knocked him right onto his back and the other men who were watching all began laughing. The laughter continued for a few seconds but then when he didn't get up the laughter stopped and they all went over to him. He eventually got up, but the other men basically had to carry him into the hallway. I could tell that he was going to be all right but he was hurting. That was the end of the football and the end of my kick boards. I had to tread water for quite a while longer after that, the atmosphere had gone from very festive to very serious.
The thing is when they finally pulled me out of the tub, my skin was as red as a ripe tomato, and as they rubbed me down with towels I couldn't feel them. I couldn't feel anything touching my skin. My penis had shrunk so much I had to check to make sure it was still there. I believe that the water was not hot but very cold and they were trying to see how long my body could overcome hypothermia using only the power of suggestion in the mind. I have no idea how cold the water actually was, or how long I was actually in the tub but I can be sure that it was hours.
After they dried me off they made me do jumping jacks and pushups down on the floor. As I'm doing my pushups I hear a noise over my right shoulder, one of Adolph's men was picking up the towels they had just dried me off with, and tripped or slipped on something and I watched him fall in the tub with my right eye. I heard everybody running behind me. After a few seconds I hear the man with the white hair yelling at me to get my ass up there. I stop doing my pushups and hurry up the ladder. When I get to the top, I recognized the guy in the water, he was one of the more likable guys out of the original group. When I see it's him, I start laughing my ass off and I said something stupid like "how's the water" but everyone around me is VERY serious and they are frantically trying to get the man to grab the end of a broom handle. This guy was a big and burly guy (over 6'-2" and at least 250 pounds). Yet I watched as he could barley close his hand around the broom handle. He was fully clothed and was wearing a heavy dark wool overcoat. They manage to get him over to the edge but there was no foothold or leverage to pull him in and they could not get him out of the water. They tried several times, but the man could not move his arms at all to help them. The man with the white hair now jumps in and tries to lift him out of the water with one hand while holding onto the edge with the other to no avail. He yells at me to jump in. So I do, I try and pull him up as Adolph is doing on the other side and again this doesn't work. So I did the only thing left. I took a deep breath and went to the bottom feet first and came up under the guy who had fell in. With my knees bent and my hands above my head I grab the guy's butt and push off the bottom with my feet locking my arms above me. By doing this I managed to throw him far enough out of the water to where they grabbed him and pulled him out. I repeated this with Adolph, and then just got out myself just like I was getting out of the deep end of a swimming pool. I stood up and watched, but as I watched I became very confused as they frantically cut the man in the over coat's clothing off and they were wrapping him in blankets as fast as they could get them. His face was expressionless, his eyes were wide open but didn't move, and his skin was very very pale. They had some trouble getting him down the ladder, but they managed and they put him right onto a stretcher and wheeled him quickly out of the room and into the hallway. The man with the white hair wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and started yelling at everyone. This all happened in under two minutes, the man was in the water for probably about one, maybe less. I just stood there and hoped he didn't yell at me again (I had already screwed up twice, the football and getting out of the pool without permission). Everyone starts to pat me on the back and tells me what a great job I did. But now I was even more confused? How come he couldn't get out of the pool? Why did his face look like that? Why is my skin red and his is white? What did I do that was so good? I just pushed him out of the pool.
Looking back I don't know why I remember this event so clearly. Maybe it is because it has the least amount of pain, or because it was early on in my development, or maybe it is because afterwards they made me feel special for some reason. I don't know, but that's why I believe that the water was very cold and not the temperature of a luke warm bath.
Make a red dot the size of a half dollar- One of the very next things they did was to instruct me in the art of shooting guns. When they brought me from my dorm room I entered the lab but this time they bring me to a different part of the lab. To a place I had never been before. This place is like a long narrow warehouse with the back of the room lined with sand bags about 2/3 of the way up to the ceiling at the far end. I am standing by my self. There is a group of people standing off to my left. Adolph comes over to me and turns me to face him. "Listen to me very carefully," he says. "This is very very important! Do you understand?" he asks. I think I nodded my head. "We are going to work on your shooting skills today" he said. "Here is what you are going to do. Look at me and focus. Are you focused?" he says as his voice raises. "Yes" I say. "When you shoot, you shoot to kill! Repeat it!" he said. And I repeated it. "When you see a target, you will envision two round circles each the size of a half dollar. They are glowing neon red. These two circles are going to appear on every target. One will be in the middle of the targets forehead and the other will be right in the upper middle of his chest. WHEN YOU FIRE, YOU WILL ENVISION IN YOUR MIND, ZOOMING IN TO THESE TARGETS LIKE THE WORLDS MOST POWERFUL TELEPHOTO LENS. IN YOUR MIND THAT LITTLE RED GLOWING TARGET WILL BECOME THE SIZE OF A STOP SIGN. NO MATTER HOW FAR AWAY THEY ARE. IT WILL ALWAYS BE AS EASY TO HIT THE EXACT CENTER OF THE TARGET, JUST AS IF YOU WERE SHOOTING A STOP SIGN STANDING TWO FEET IN FRONT OF IT. IN YOUR MIND, YOU WILL ADJUST FOR WIND AND DISTANCE AUTOMATICALLY. WHEN YOU SHOOT YOU WILL NOT THINK, YOU WILL JUST DO! DO YOU UNDERSTAND! DO YOU UNDERSTAND! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!" he said. I SAID "YES I UNNDERSTAND".
One of the other lab guys whom I had never talked to before then comes up from behind me somewhere and he is holding a case. He places the case on this round wooden table and opens it. There are six different pistols in it. He asked me to look at him and not the pistols. He then asks me "if I had ever shot a gun before." I said "once at sleep away camp when I was little" he asked me if I knew the caliber and I said "yes, it was a .22 caliber rifle" and I remember hearing laughter, it seemed to be from all over the room. He then said to "focus your eyes on me, always your eyes are on me". He then asked me if I had ever shot a pistol before and I replied "no". He then told me that he was going to instruct me how to handle a gun, how to load it, how to clean it, how each one is different and what there different characteristics are, and he went on and on. At the end he said "you will remember everything I say and it will become like second nature to you, you will know it like the back of your hand". He then picked up the first pistol and for the next few hours (I presume it was hours) he spent showing me all the guns. Taking apart all the guns, and putting them back together. How to load them. How to clean them. How each one was different etc..etc.. I specifically remember this because after I did it once, I knew each gun like the back of my hand. They on the other hand were quite insistant that I disassemble and then reassemble every gun at LEAST 25 times. After about three or four "assemblies" I spoke out and said "this is a waste of time, when can I shoot?" and then like one voice every one in the room started yelling at me. All basically saying the same thing, that your gun is your life and that all this is very very very important. I got the message and said "well test me". Someone, I think it was Mr. Greení\'s voice says "all right, we'll test you smart-ass" and they made me turn around. I hear them working. When I turn back around all six guns are disassembled and are in a big pile in the middle of the round table. The man with the white hair says to me you have exactly something something minutes to reassemble all the weapons. I really wasn't listening to him. The moment I had turned around and saw the pile of parts I knew what they wanted me to do. I was like a kid in a candy store. Excited at the new challenge, and ready to show them just what I could do, it was all like a game to me. Me against them and they don't think I can do it. As the man with the white hair finished speaking the words I really wasn't hearing. He said "ready" and I look at him and he has a stop watch, to the left of him is Mr. Green standing there with his arms crossed with this shit eating grin on his face. I remember thinking to my self "watch this you son of a bitch" and Adolph says "go." And I rush over to the table. Let me tell you every piece that I touched I instantly knew EXACTLY what gun it went to, how it was used, what purpose it served the weapon and how to clean it. I instantly knew everything and every word the instructor had told me about that piece.
I have no idea how fast I assembled those six pistols. I was so focused on the task I had no idea about anything else around me. How much time had gone by, where I was, nothing. I was going very fast and when I finished and slammed the last pistol to the table and yelled "done". As I looked up they all had this blank stare and mouth open look to them. Mr. Green says "do it again" and I did it two more times. Then the man with the white hair and black leather coat goes behind me and takes apart one of the guns and holds it in front of me and instructs me to tell in detail what gun this part goes to and what it is used for. I would then tell every detail word for word exactly as the instructor in the blue lab coat told me. After three or four parts Adolph is now strutting around like a proud peacock. He praised me and made me feel good about my self, and I said with a very cocky attitude "now can I shoot" as I looked at Mr. Green. Mr. Green breaks a smile and says "Shit!! let him shoot".
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