MY MOTHER DRESSED ME UP IN MY BEST CLOTHES AND I WAS
VERY EXCITED AT THE THOUGHT OF BEING TAKEN ON AN ADVENTURE. IT
BECAME A NIGHTMARE OF RITUAL ABUSE WHICH LASTED FOR FOUR YEARS
NEW HELPLINE IS A BREAKTHROUGH FOR IRELAND'S VICTIMS OF RITUAL
RAPE AND SATANIC ABUSE
Copyright 1999 MGN Ltd.
Sunday Mirror
October 24, 1999, Sunday
SECTION: FEATURES; Pg. 8, 9
BYLINE: Amanda Doherty
EVERY time Kate's mother dressed her in her best Sunday
clothes, she knew she was about to be taken on a journey of terror.
Kate was three years old when the abuse started and it
continued until she was seven.
Three evenings a week the terrified youngster was collected
from her home by her uncle and taken to a house on the outskirts
of Dublin to be ritually abused.
"I still remember the first time it happened," she said. "It
was evening time because it was dark outside and my mother made
me dress up in my best clothes.
"I was excited because I thought I was going on an adventure.
I was picked up by my aunt and uncle and taken to another house
somewhere in Dublin.
"I remember looking out at the city lights and feeling happy
because I was out so late. But when I got to the house I became
scared because everyone was dressed in dark gowns and hoods.
"I was stripped and made to me lie down on a table in the
living room. It was cold and I was absolutely terrified. So I
started screaming and shouting for my mother."
During the horrific ordeal Kate was smeared with blood and
repeatedly assaulted.
"The terror I felt was indescribable and I was in terrible
pain. The table was surrounded by strangers in robes and hoods
holding crucifixes, chalices and knives encrusted with jewels.
"They were also chanting in some strange language - it was
just horrific."
Kate, 34, does not remember how long her ordeal lasted but she
felt a great sense of relief when she was returned home.
"When I came home I thought I was safe. My mother just hugged
me tight but didn't say anything. She cleaned me up because I
was covered in blood and she put cream on my body where it was
sore.
"Then a few nights later it happened again. When I saw my
mother bringing out my blue coat and best shoes I started
screaming because I knew what would happen next."
Kate tried to speak to her parents about the abuse but her
father said she would be taken away if she told anyone about it.
"I was absolutely terrified to speak about it in case I was
taken away. Every time I saw my that blue coat being brought
out, I'd throw a fit.
"My uncle would knock at the door and then return to the car
to my aunt to wait for my father to bring me out. Most times
I'd be kicking and screaming and pleading with my parents not
to send me away.
"But they said nothing. They just pulled me out to the car.
Most times my father had to prise my fingers from the garden
gate.
"There were other children in the house where I was abused
as well, but I didn't recognise them. Sometimes they would be
placed on the table while I was forced to watch.
"I was constantly afraid. I could hardly sleep and I hated
going to Mass because every time I saw a crucifix, I'd have a
panic attack."
The abuse suddenly stopped when Kate was seven years old,
but the terror she felt continued for a long time.
"They just stopped calling for me. But I lived in constant
fear that they would knock on the door and take me away. That
fear stayed with me until I started counselling when I was 25.
"It was never discussed in the house. My parents acted as
if it never happened, but I couldn't escape from the nightmares
or the terrible fear." I started sniffing glue when I was eight
years old to stop me feeling afraid."
When Kate was 16 she developed anorexia and started using
prescription drugs.
"I hated myself, particularly when my body started developing
during puberty. I wanted to look like a boy so I ate
just enough to stop me from collapsing. I was six-and-a-half
stone at my lowest point.
"I also started taking Valium to get rid of the fear I
constantly felt. I was a total mental wreck and my parents
didn't or chose not to notice. I lived in a house of secrets."
Kate got married when she was 20. But the marriage only
lasted two years.
"It was a disaster right from the start. I couldn't bear
anyone touching me or getting close to me. Sex terrified and
disgusted me. I only got married to get out of my parents'
house.
"I dreamt of meeting the perfect man who would help me
forget everything from the past. But I didn't love my husband
and we eventually got divorced.
"I was 22 then and totally addicted to tranquillisers and
I was drinking quite heavily.
"When I was 25 I eventually realised that I was going to
die if I didn't sort my life out, so I went to a treatment
centre to be assessed.
"This really was the turning point. For the first time in
my life I was able to speak to someone about what had happened
to me. The best thing was that these people actually listened
and understood.
"The relief I felt was enormous - I didn't have to suppress
my feelings any more.
"I was able to speak to other people who had been abused
and they felt exactly like me. I also realised that what
happened wasn't my fault - I was too young to stop it happening.
"I had counselling for four years and eventually I started
letting go of the fear. The sessions were extremely hard for
me - I think I cried for three years."
Kate eventually confronted her parents about what had happened
to her when she was a child. But they refused to talk about it.
"I'm not in contact with them anymore. I used to feel
incredibly angry but now I'm just sad because I still love
them."
Kate remarried four years ago and has three children of her own.
"I feel happy for the first time in my life. I've told my
husband everything and he's so understanding and supportive.
I suppose I'm overprotective of my children but I'm still a
very loving mother.
"I'm absolutely terrified that something could happen to them.
Abuse comes in all shapes and forms. What happened to me was
horrific, but I'm learning to deal with it.
"I know that there are many other people out there who have
also been abused. But they don't need to suffer in silence
because there is help out there."
Sarah Bland from County Laois has battled for years to make
the authorities investigate her claims that she was subjected
to ritual satanic abuse by an Irish paedophile ring.
She believes her alleged abusers are still on the loose.
The 22-year-old student says she can recall being repeatedly
gang-raped from the age of four.
"It went on for two years before my mother took me to Canada.
But I had nightmares throughout my childhood.
"I remember lying naked on a dining table surrounded by
candles. They would smear blood and then the men would rape
me. There was usually about six of them and they were all
dressed in suits.
"I remember a younger one very well and I think I could
recognise him if I came face-to-face with him now."
A SPECIAL helpline has been set up for victims of ritual
rape and Satanic abuse in Ireland.
Terrified victims have contacted Rape Crisis Centres across
the country to disclose harrowing tales of ritual abuse and
bizarre ceremonies.
Counsellors have called in experts in ritual abuse from England
to help set up the helpline.
Twenty women have already sought help and counselling for
their ordeals. But experts fear there could be hundreds more
too frightened to come forward.
Fiona Neary, national co-ordinator of the Rape Crisis Centres,
said the new helpline will be in operation before the end of
he year.
"We could be talking about high levels of organised abuse
which could almost be beyond the belief of many of the agencies
tasked with dealing with this problem.
"But other forms of ritual abuse may not be highly organised
- the abusers may be members of the extended family.
"Child sexual abuse is always about power and secrecy. Most
sexual abuse of children is organised in some way, to a greater
or lesser extent.
"Although it is unrecognised, ritual abuse does take place
in Ireland and survivors of this type of abuse live here.
"Elaborate ritual, group activities, religious, magical or
supernatural beliefs and practices may be used to terrify and
silence children and to convince them of the absolute power of
their abusers.
"The purpose of these rituals is to gain and maintain access
to children in order to exploit them sexually. There is also
evidence that some of the groups would exchange children to
other groups abroad.
"People who have been abused in such a way are left absolutely
terrified. We believe, from what we are hearing, that most of
the abusers were groups rather than individuals, with the vast
majority of the abuse taking place within families.
"People who have suffered this type of abuse need specialist
care, which is why we are setting up the helpline."
"We have already brought experts over from England to provide
the extra training required for the volunteers who will be
working on this helpline.
"It is also essential that in order to stop the abuse which
is currently taking place and to prevent further abuse, that
the causes, nature and extent of physical and sexual abuse
is understood."
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