The following comes from a lady who's name we have, but, for obvious reasons, will remain anonymous for now:

Thank you so much for answering my e-mail. I had pages of the story typed for you and accidentally erased it. It is so hard to even deal with typing the story that my hands are not working like they should and I keep spelling words wrong and transposing the letters.

My reason for doing this is that people need to have a clue about what is going on and be apart of the solution. Children are small and have limited availability to do anything about these kinds of situations especially when you are being punished all the time and everyone is bigger than you.

The first ritual that I remember occurred in Bountiful, Utah. I was four years old at the time and I know this because I was wearing a dress that my Mother made me for my fourth birthday. We lived in a little rent house east of town next to an orchard that was next to the mountain. There was a lady beating me with branches off a tree while she told me "see Jesus doesn't love you and He is not going to save you." This beating was so intense that I left my body and was watching from the front of myself. My face was red and wet from crying and screaming and I was mad. T

The follow up to this experience was that the lady that was beating me was the lady in the Sunday School that would welcome the kids. When I went back on Sunday and saw her even though my conscious memory did not know why I started kicking and screaming to try and not have to go in.

The next memory that I have also occurred during this period of time and I think that it was in my grandmothers garage in Utah. I was placed in cedar chest like people put their collectibles or fine linens in and the lid was secured so that I could not get out and I was left until I lost consciousness and when I revived I was told that Jesus did not love me so Satan rescued me. This actually was done several times and some of the times were also at the neighbors in Bountiful, Utah.

I also have memories of nearly drowning several times. Only I thought it was a dream. I don't know where it was or who did it or what period of time it involves.

I started to have times when my body just shook and I was taken to a Doctor and also a shrink. The MD said that I had St. Vitas Dance and the shrink said I was emotionally insecure. I was belittled, beat and at times starved. My father would eat in front of my brother and myself and we would not get any. I remember many times not having anything to eat. My Mother was also treated this way.

We moved to Murray, Utah after these stories which was another round of sorrow for me and my brothers. I started to pull out my hair out which brought more trouble with my parents and more spankings etc. The school had me see a social worker once a week and I thought that this was special time for me because he would buy me 7up which was a vary rare treat for me. He would also take my panties off me and finger bang me and massage my vulva which embarrassed me but there was nothing I could do about it. If I didn't keep the secret there would be such big trouble for me.

During this time frame one night my parents were having a yelling fight at the table and it upset me so much that I could not eat. I was told to eat or else and I could not. They asked why not and I said that my stomach was upset so they threatened me again only this time with a doctor. and when I didn't eat they took me to the hospital to have my appendix out. I was not sick with appendicitis I was sick of the fighting. I was sick of life. While I was in the hospital I wanted to jump out of the hospital but I was on the second or the third floor and I knew I would be hurt more than I was. There were also at least two times while we lived in Murray that my parents held all of us down and gave us shorts that they said were penicillin. I stole the syringe and took it to Primary which is a church meeting for kids and the teacher got it and kept it so we had no more shorts from our parents.

My other Grandparents lived in Southern Utah and we would go to see them in the summers while we were out of school. We loved going there because we could run and play and had plenty to eat and our grandparents loved us.

However there was a family friend that would come and give us candy and take us for rides etc. One time after he had been there my brother and I cleaned out an abandoned shed to hide in. After we got it all cleaned out we both sat in a corner and said that we would never poop again. I wasn't until three years ago when I went back to that area on a rainy spring day and smelled the sage brush and the typical weeds that the rest of the story came to mind.

We had been so sodomized that we hurt so badly that we couldn't stand the pain. My brother so held on to the determination not poop that he wound up having a bowel obstruction and had to have surgery. The man who did this went on five missions for the LDS Church. He had an accident and broke his neck and at the hospital they put a screw in his skull and secured it to the wall which tickled me to death although I didn't express it. He later died from the injuries. I was so glad.

This man came to see us when we were at home and started petting my breasts at the time I was about thirteen years old. I told my Mother and this is what he said to her, " That he didn't know much about girls because he didn't have sisters." Well he had a wife and at least five kids of his own. Would he have molested sisters if he had had any? What in the world could I have taught him, I was in the eighth grade? I made a point of being away from home as much a possible after his messing around with me so I don't know what he did to my brothers. I was sodomized so badly during those years that I developed fissures in my rectum three different times.

It never occurred to tell my mother because the programming to keep the secret was so in place, so I just suffered in silence. I also remember this man using my mother for sex and she has no memory of it at all.

I started being taken to the most secret rites in the LDS Temple at 20 years of age. The regular patrons go through the front door and have to have a temple recommend. They wear white clothes for their ceremonies, but I went through a tunnel under the street that trucks can go through and up to a loading dock. From that point on I don't know where I went except that the room that I was taken to was called the Pink Room. When I started having memories I cried because I had been to the Pink Room and didn't even know what I was saying.

I saw several of the general authorities dressed in black worshipping Lucifer in what is called True Order of Prayer which is a ritual form of going through all the sign and tokens and penalties that are in the regular temple ceremonies similar to the Masons. ( has a book about the ceremonies that go on in the regular part of the Temple). The room was built by Pres. Wilford Woodruff for the blood atonement room ( has information about this also) and the sacrifice room. I remember President Benson being tied to a chair and gagged and told that he would participate or watch. After the sacrifice that I don't remember he still would not participate and so he was put in a white bag like a laundry bag and we all beat him. He never spoke again.

During these years I had many pregnancy losses that were not explainable. I would be fine and 3 or 5 months pregnant with not sign of anything wrong and then I would not be able to feel my baby by feeling my abdomen of feel it move and would not be pregnant. One time I was very far gone but I don't know how far maybe, 7 months, and the baby disappeared and I was keep drugged for 6 weeks. When I came out of being drugged I felt my stomach and there was no baby.

I went to see a doctor. that I didn't know and he could feel that I had been pregnant and suggested that the baby was not right and that it had absorbed back into my blood. A couple of years ago I remembered delivering that baby in a room that I don't know where it was but I will describe it. It had shag carpet that was orange and gold. The walls were cheap walnut paneling and there was a bed right in the middle of the room that I labored on and a couch that was beige velvet with chocolate leaves and various gold and orange flowers on it. I was attended by two men that I don't know and one said he was the father of the baby. After he was born they held him up for me to see and I never saw him again and have never know what happened to him.

I also remember having four babies removed from by body and them being sacrificed while I was tied to a cross shaped stone alter. Everyone had on black robes and hoods and we were underground in a cave or something. I also remember seeing two monsters fighting furiously dripping blood and fighting about what they were eating. (They were reptilian and looked something like the dinosaurs that a teacher at school used to show us). I don't know what they were eating. I keep thinking that my mind wants to heal and I have to face that they ate my baby, but for now I can't handle it so I think of it as just a nightmare. I can't get the furiousness of them eating out of my mind. It is so horrific.

I was subjected to ritual marriages and used for sex. I don't know who these people were or where it was all the time. I don't even know if the children that I raised were all my husbands or not. I have been told that they were not. I love them anyway and have tried to be a good mother to them. Some of them have come to me and told me of their abuse which has been a great sorrow. I wish that I could help them more and that everything could have been different.

After this we moved to the south part of the state to a different part and were hoping that we could settle down and have an enjoyable country life with a garden and some pet animals like a horse or something but we continued to deal with the occult unknowingly. I had more ritual abortions and pregnancy losses. I went to a specialist to try to find out what the matter was and found out that I now have Lupus which is a immunity disease. It is also caused by stress and abuse, however I had a great grand mother that had it.

After I found out that I had Lupus I started seeing weird beings and wondered when the torment would stop. I knew if I told anyone they would think I was nuts. I knew I was not nuts and that I was seeing what I thought I was seeing, but how could I do anything about it or who would believe me. About this time we found out that my husband had cancer so I begged him to go to a healer that does the bare handed healing surgery like the Philippine healers. At this time I was having very terrible headaches and could find no relief. After praying about it I had the thought to call a lady that I knew in Utah, but could not find her and as it turned out she had married and I did not know it.

I had showed her where my mother in law lived and told her if we ever lost track of each other she would always know where I was as long a she lived. When we got to Utah on the way to the healers this friend had left a letter for me at my mother in law's house for me. I was so glad to find her and she told me that she felt led to tell me about a book called "Behold a Pale Horse" by William Cooper.

She had heard about these healers and wanted the experience to go so she went in her car with her husband when we did and she let me read her book on the way down. When we got to the healers it was too early and she did not want to be rushed so we talked while she got thing ready. I told her about the book and it talking about the implants and she said she sees implants farily often and that she knew of the author. Well when I got on her table she told me I had implants in my head and ears. She could not get them out which terrified me and made me feel so trapped I wanted out of this world even if it meant suicide and the least cutting my ear flap off.

When we went back to Utah I went to see a doctor, a family friend, who always knew weird stuff and asked him to take them out of me and he told that he could not or else I would die because they were booby trapped in the body. He also told me that aliens put them in there. I was furious that he said that and especially that it might be true. I was on over load so badly that I went to see my mother and told her what I was going through and all she could talk about was going to a dance with her cousin and the dress she was going to wear. She completely tuned me out.

I was getting psychotic and needed help, so I called another doctor who was unconventional and told him about the implants and how scared I was and would he help me? He said that aliens put them in and that he would try to help me but we must not rush into anything because there could be harm come to me if we did.

But at least he didn't cut me off and told me to come right away. He had gone on a camping trip with his boys and his office surgical stuff was not sterile so he looked me over and calmed me down and tapped a medical magnet on it and said maybe that would put the stuff on overload and make it not work while he came up with a plan. I lived several hundred miles away so I started out at least knowing that I was not alone and that someone else knew about weird stuff and that I could talk to someone.

When I got home I called the lady that told us about the healer and told her about everything that I was going through and she said she knew another family about 50 miles away that was going through alien stuff and gave me her phone number. I didn't call her right away because I was embarrassed and wanted an ordinary country life whatever that is. When I did call her she was very polite and invited me to come over so that we could talk. She did tell me on the phone that a year earlier she would have thought that I was nuts but they were going through similar weird situations.

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