Compassion Sensuality (CS) is based on the premise that we are all "spiritual beings in human disguise," and an application of the central spirit found in every genuinely inclusive ideology.
The above quotation from the Metta (or Loving Kindness) Sutra is one example of this form of inclusive intent. Its variations can be found in most cultures, religions, and ethical philosophies.
Therefore, however kindly revolutionary (and at first glance for some perhaps even controversial) this approach may seem, the truth is that no form of allowed and offered compassion, caring, or loving intent is superior or inferior to than any other.
The controversial aspect is that many traditionalists or purists may strongly object to one being able to mix "pure," high minded or spiritual thoughts and intentions with our seemingly so "lowly" sensuality.
That is one reason why approaches such as CS deserve to be finally dared and experienced as being as honorable and as spiritual as all others.
On a wider collective and historical level, CS is one of many ways to help heal our fear-fueled addicted beliefs in the so-called "split between body and spirit." Sensuality is not corrupt in of itself. Only how we use it with fear distorts its heart. I know from direct experience over the years that I discovered this that it is not the form of prayer that matters - but its core intent.
Now, you may be wondering...
"Hang on a second here. Prayer? What does that really have to do with sex or sensuality?" Or perhaps you may be thinking, "What if I'm not even really religious or deep into the spiritual stuff?"
Well, neither actually matters. Besides, if you're read this far, you have some form of spiritual interest, yes? Indeed.
The other fact is that if we look closely at the central motivation within all traditions of prayer, it all comes down to one simple thing: Having loving intent towards others and towards oneself.
Another word for loving intent is compassion, and these central feelings transcend intellectual, religious, cultural, or gender specific definitions.
We have all felt and desired it in various ways. As the Dalai Lama has said, "Whether one has religion or not... There is no being anywhere that does not crave compassion, kindness." As to the physical how-to of this, I will be sharing more at this site from my own journey, and on how even celibate individuals can experience this.
The freeing truth about CS is that there really is no technique and no must-do anything (apart from the obvious -- such as using sex to manipulate, deceive, control or to hurt oneself and/or others).
The first very basic human reason for CS being a non-technique approach is: Neither I nor anyone has any business telling you what you enjoy the most. If you like sex how-to techniques, then that is your right and choice to use them.
The second is that enjoyment of one's physical and sensual self is no more or less spiritual than anything else: It the purpose and heart we give anything that creates its deepest experience.
Until I write the more in depth part to all this, I will say that it is for me a very versatile form of mediation: I experience it best un-rushed, free of any sense performance or "have to."
It also enhances an even more delightful, full sense of one's "sexiness" as one allows this subtly powerful extra harmonic to be felt. It is only one conscious choice. Here is the easy core of it:
The next time you are alone or with someone, try to open up to the realization that the essence of whatever physical joy you are experiencing is...
The same essence (or Essence) of every form of love or fulfillment every living being wishes to experience -- regardless of area life.
Allowing the glow of this to be felt at the moments of peaked sensation such as climax are wonderful.
And yet, as with everything, the journey is just as important as any destination.
So just let the loving intent at any time along the way in your heart-mind, at your ease.
The very "cool" realization of this no-technique to sensual moments of joy and pleasure is that one begins to realize and let oneself experience that:
Any moment of peace, things-going-right-today, kindness given or received, generosity, mercy, and so on. can become one's "glow," "prayers" or whatever one wishes to call it.
I have had many non-sensual variations of such moments..
I consider CS one of those soulfully spontaneous ways to allowing oneself to experience and radiate "Innocence" to others through our humanity.
"What's this about "Innocence" with a capital "I"?
It's simply one description. I use that word for that is how it feels to me from years having experienced the opposite through many terrifying passages sometimes referred to as "dark nights of the soul."
Yet regardless of one's path, by going deep, high, or wide enough within ourselves, we can actually sense that we are all really Innocent at our core.
Many mystics have touched upon and described this essence. They have also said that we are all only entangled in struggles and suffering caused by what is referred to as the "world of duality" or polarities. One essentially puts it this way:
There are only two absolute core modes of perception and experience: love, or fear. That's it.
Everything we think, believe, feel, and thus experience is either based on and/or motivated by love (Innocence), or fear (guilt). This includes how we treat ourselves and others, physically, emotionally, mentally or in any other way or arena of life.
Yet as this spiritual view also says, "There is no opposite to love, and all that is not of love is but a call for love." Therefore, sensuality in and of itself cannot be contrary to love.
However physical pleasure has been treated or condemned -- by fearful beliefs -- in many religions because most choose to assert that we are "born of sin" and all of its variations around the world. (incl. "past life karma"). Read: We are guilty/flawed by default.
And born of a sexual act, no less. Double jeopardy.
Therefore the concluding truth about sensuality parades in pious (fearful) clothing as: Guilty souls don't deserve and/or can't be trusted with pleasure.
Absurd logic? Indeed, fear itself is illogically absurd for it is the belief in and need to prove the absence of love or Love -- on the deepest existential and/or "spiritual understanding" level, if you will.
So due to our being so used to fear, fusing prayer (or compassionate intent) with sensual pleasure as -- neither greater nor lesser -- than any other form of spirituality may at the very least still feel odd.
But such gentle daring is certainly not absurd:
All compassionate thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and experiences are of love, be they sexual or not.
What words or terms, physical actions and/or rituals we use, or however varied the experiences we choose to dance, love is central to all of us. So keep in mind and heart what you just read about there being as many ways as there are individuals to experience spiritual loving intent, and just let go and let it happen.
As seconds, minutes, whatever feels really "you."
Let yourself feel the essence of this subtly wide inclusive intent and trust that while you need not know who, where, or how, be assured that...
Someone somewhere IS being uplifted in some way by your loving intent.
While you are giving yourself permission to feel the essence of love (or "Love") sensually, trust that:
Whoever she, he, and/or they may be, they are receiving whatever form of essence of L/love is compassion-suited for them. It could be...
A new frightened preschool child getting the comfort she needs...
Terrorists about to detonate a bomb, but something stops them from within or without...
A homeless family being helped by strangers out of nowhere...
A terminally ill person finally letting go of the agony and struggle...
Or a neighbor, a co-worker, a friend, a relative stranger met today, or anyone...
Or a neighbor, a co-worker, a friend, a relative stranger met today, or anyone...
Really needing and somehow mysteriously experiencing a much needed "life breather."
The possibilities are endless and as the old truism goes, "What goes around, comes around": Every time we choose love over fear, we are "circulating" love for all others and for ourselves.
Therefore give yourself permission to feel your body as a graceful and passionately honorable form of temple, altar, or representative "broadcast station" of that Innocence in all of us.
As you try this out, you may choose to go by the sum-up Metta quote at the beginning of this article or make up your own words, or use none. Whatever works best for you, for again:
We all instinctively know what feels loving and compassionate. No instruction manuals, Scriptures, or rules and regulations needed. I wish you the most beautifully ordinary and yet also so subtly extraordinary experiences. Remember that it's not what you do or how long it lasts, but how it is felt within and as you that matters.
When you feel it, your body, heart and soul just Know it's happening.
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