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How Deep is this
Government Oppression?

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a satyre on stupidity

Recently the highly esteemed council members of the City of Dallas regressed into passing an unconstitutional law, a law 'not consistent with the constitution of the State.' The Dallas City council regressed to playing in the mire and the muck. They outlawed a practice which is permitted under common law (Texas Civil Statutes Article 1, Section 1) and has been permitted by natural law for nearly 6000 years. Dallas City Council has jumped head first into subject matter they feel most qualified to legislate.

The council's infamous Pooper Scooper law is not only unconstitutional and against common, natural and organic law it is a giant leap for mankind into the depths of stupidity and the council persons have dirtied their hands by delving into this subject matter headfirst.

First the Pooper Scooper law is unenforceable, since there was no creation or establishment of a Pooper Police Patrol. Given-- the majority of Dallas Police are barely qualified to take on this enforcement task; but they are anxious and ready to go after and incarcerate Pooper violators and start collecting "best evidence" to be held over for trial in the 'property/evidence room.' But there are a few honorable Policemen left in the Dallas Police Department which as did Ezekiel of the Old Testament might object to being relegated to such a putrid and obviously demeaning task of dung evidence investigations.

Citizens run the risk of Police, who are already dirty, planting evidence against them so that they can put another notch on their gun, another successful arrest! Police will carry the Doo in the city vehicles and in their pockets and throw the stuff into yards, just so they can make false arrests. Eventually, the government will have to establish special DooDoo classes for violators on probation to attend. The legal system will incarcerate thousands of violators for this crime and the government will create another three-letter beaurocracy called the PPS, (no not PooPoo System) but Pet Protective Services while the offender is in jail.

This law is the culmination of the stupidity of the Dallas City Council, by creating dung laws which will make Dallas the laughing-stock for many years and just after it was getting over the stigma of the Kennedy assassination. The blight of stupidity of the Dallas City Council will embarrass Texas much more than the temporary blight of occasional dung heaps on yards. This law will cause arrests for illegal defecation. There will come writs of attachments on animals for the courts to anxiously await for fresh samples to compare to previously collected evidence to make sure that old doo sample 'A' matches fresh doo sample 'B' --- so that the perpetrator can be convicted before and by a jury of his "peers?" beyond a reasonable shadow of a doubt. At least the city council knows what the municipal court judges are best at handling.

Texas will have PooPoo spies turning neighbor against neighbor, officials against citizen, and citizen against officials. Is this the kind of mess the government wants?

Since the Poo Problem is Statewide and not a city unique problem, then the enforcement, investigations, collection of evidence needs to be done by the attorney general's office for Texas Attorney General's are imminently more qualified to take on these matters due to their previous expertise and dealings. The Attorney General's can issue PooPoo Opinions. Further, I recommend to all parties accused of violations of this offense to take each and every charge of guilty all the way to the Supreme Court of Texas, preserving all the evidence along the way to Austin, the city full of it already. Since Austin has the unfortunate job of hosting the Legislature, it has the experience to adeptly figure out a way to mask the stench.

This law is designed to give Attorneys a new specialized PooPoo Practice, since so many of them are starving from lack of work. Most Lawyers have been waiting for these kinds of cases for years. These are the cases that lawyers can really sink their teeth into. They can roll up their shirt sleeves and really dig into the subject matter. One will even take one of these cases all the way to the United States Supreme Court in Washington D.C. where this subject matter reigns supreme. Here the PooPoo attorney can re-create the crime and crime scene in vivid detail, with computer mock-ups, and monstrous size pictures of the evidence. The Supreme Court Judges will finally get their Doo and the dogs - their day in court.

The embarrassment on Texas is that the style of cases will be worded 'the State of Texas' v. citizen in violation of Poopy Law and concluded in the 'peace and dignity of the State.' The final statement 'peace and dignity' will bring a huge number of Barratry charges against the lawyers. The wording will have to be changed to protect the 'dignity;' (ha-ha) of the lawyers to 'the peace and dung-free State.'

The more intelligent judges will dismiss these cases for 'want of subject matter jurisdiction' which will amount to 'legal constipation of the court system'.

The city of Dallas is making an illegal and covert, end around attempt of revenue enhancement at the expense of the owners of dog derrières. They are trying to turn a valueless commodity into illicit gain for the city treasury. It is a hidden tax in the form of law. It shall be forever called the DooDoo Tax. Such covert and subversive taxes caused the Boston Tea Party. This could lead to the 'Poopy Rebellion of Dallas.' And just when do the People stop the government from such covert and treasonous acts? After the government taxes human natural gas? After the government makes PeeWee law on cats? Will the City of Dallas invent and use special dungy meters to charge citizens for the disposal of dung? The time is NOW to put an end to government atrocity and abuse.

Pets coming to the court to either be a witness in their owners behalf or standing on the fifth amendment or begging for a continuance due to stomach virus is going to make our 'open courts' a media press bonanza. The Press is notorious for digging the stuff up for public consumption. The dirtier the better. Even owners which obey this unconstitutional law will run the risk of the press digging it up for publication.

The EPA laws may also restrict the preservation of naturally toxic Poo Poo for evidentiary material. Natural processes bring on decay and transformation of the offending matter into fertilizer. Saving the stuff in a plastic bag which will not decay for thousands of years may cause future pollution problems. EPA may require plastic bags with health warnings inscribed. Our hopefully more intelligent descendants may dig this stuff up four or five hundred years from now in archaeological digs and wonder what in the hell we were saving and preserving the stuff for!

Some enterprising pro-se patriots will argue before the courts that the act was pursuing Texas Bill of Rights, section 8, and they were publishing and expressing their opinion of lawyers and judges. Religious fanatics will claim it is a protected Right under the Bill of Rights as a ritual and part of their religion. (Tx Const Art 1, Sec 6). Some will call the act a redress of grievance against government and declare the act Remonstrance. (Tx Const Art 1 Sec 26) Patriots will declare it an excepted right and inherent right as a way to ABOLISH this present government in any manner they think expedient. (Tx Const Art 1 Sec 2)

Basically the Texas Constitution declares the new Dung law VOID pursuant to Texas Constitution Article 1 Section 29 due to violation of Texas Constitution Article 1 Section 3 of the equal rights provision. To selectively harass dog owners and not cat owners is a violation of equal right. The Dallas City Council has formed a special class of people for prosecution and this is a violation of civil rights. When cat owners are not subjected to the same laws this is harassment and a violation of the Constitutions of Texas and the United States and will place government officials in lawsuits pursuant to Title 42 USC 1986.

The Dallas City Council has opened up a new can of worms (or maggots) for the legal system to have to deal with. The Council has really stepped into it deep. This law of the Dallas City Council is more offending than the subject matter on hands. Texas law-makers are the reason that boots remain the footwear of choice for the average citizen in Texas. Each and every city council member that voted in favor of this insane law, deserves to be impeached for transgressions of high power against the constitution. The Dallas City Council best locate some constitutional 'Charmin' and wipe this law from the books and memory.



To all Men and Government observe these presents:

For the above causes the POOPER SCOOPER law of the City of Dallas is automatically VOID under the Texas Constitution and the People are guarding against transgressions of the high powers of the Dallas City Council in matters best left alone and in the yard. Any attempt of prosecution thereunder will possibly cause a loss of immunity to any official which attempts prosecution, arrest, ticketing, etc. under the authority of Title 42 USC 1986, making said party after this date, guilty of official oppression and deprivation of rights under color of law. For two or more have gone into the hiways and biways (and yards) and conspired to deprive citizens of equal rights.

by: L. Savage