14. Your Corn Beef now has a 5-digit expiration date.

13. Your green beans are attempting a split flanking maneuver on your clearly surprised mashed potatoes.

12. You spot the telltale signs of a primitive central nervous system in your Jell-O.

11. Whenever Helen Clark appears on TV, your watermelon leaps up, grabs the remote and shuts off the set.

10. Chocchini: Looks like zucchini, tastes like a Ding-Dong.

9. Now when you order chicken from the Colonel, you have to specify Original Recipe or Extra Nippy.

8. Your cauliflower bears a creepy resemblance to Michael Jackson.

7. It tastes the same, but now the asparagus leaves your bathroom smelling April fresh.

6. Family of seven, one turkey -- yet everyone gets a drumstick.

5. You use the leftover chicken as a nightlight for your kid's room.

4. "Flawlessly-Schooled-In-Etiquette Joe Tomatoe" was more fun when it was sloppy.

3. KFC's "Two Legs and a Breast" goes for $199.99 and is served on a pallet.

2. Before you started drinking that new brand of milk, you had six fewer nipples.

1. The product came with recommendation `As seen on TVī. .

Contributed by dmac2of4