During the big DUI Dragnet, a Highway Patrolman waited outside a
popular
local bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time as everyone came out,
he
spotted his potential quarry.
The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He
stumbled
around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car. After
trying
his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle.
He sat in the car a good ten minutes as the other patrons left. He
turned
his lights on, then off, wipers on then off. He started to pull
forward
into the grass, then stopped. Finally when he was the last car, he
pulled
out onto the road and started to drive away.
The Patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the
man
over. He administered the breathalizer test, and to his great suprise
the
man blew a 0.00! The Patrolman was dumbfounded!
"This equipment must be broken!" exclaimed the Patrolman.
"I doubt
it,"
said the drunk, "tonight I'm the Designated Decoy!"
Female brains
The patient's family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say.
"Things don't look good. The only chance is a brain transplant.This is
an
experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that
brains are
very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves."
"Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives.
"For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000."
Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the
men
nodded in understanding, and a few actually smirked.
Then the patient's daughter asked, "Why the difference in price
between
male brains and female brains?"
"A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team.....
"Women's brains have to be marked down because they are used."
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