For the purpose of this article, I will name her as Carol. I would also ask you not to mention my name anywhere in this article. Where I have emboldened names and places I would appreciate if you could keep this, as this is what Carol requested.
When I was two and a half years old, I was taken into the care of
Until I was nearly 16 years old---
This is my story.
This is what the Roman Catholic church did for me. This is what they really stand for---
Ever since I arrived, I was beaten daily for bed wetting. First thing each morning I was dragged from bed onto the floor. More often that not my bed was wet and I was punished and I was layed prostrate on the bed naked with two girls to hold my arms and two to hold my legs. I was beaten until I was numb and could no longer cry out. After this I was sent to the school room, but told by the Head Nun that I must be at the stairs by 9pm that evening at which time I would receive another beating. This happened every single day.
The mental abuse took place daily, but mainly in the school room. I was told many times that my mother was a prostitute and we were nothing but a number. I was number 94…
From infant school I went on to junior school where the mental abuse was even worse. One sister in particular told me I had brains, but she was going to knock them out of me because I was a filthy dirty bitch and smelt of urine. (Of course I did smell of urine, but this was due to the fact that we were only allowed one change of clothes per week, and I had no control over my bladder at all). I moved on from class to class hardly learning anything because of the sheer terror that the Nuns had instilled in me. Another Incident comes to mind was when I was 11 years of age and taking part in a play I forgot my lines. The Head Nun took a large stick and hit me across the face leaving me with a black eye and very swollen cheek. On returning to the convent that evening I was given a further beating because of my black eye and the next day when the play was taking place I was made to wear a mask because my face was so badly disfigured.
This took place by one sister in particular. Due to the appalling conditions, most of the girls were covered in flea bites. When returning from school we were made to strip off and the nun would paint our vagina's and would then stand back looking at us, admiring her handy work and laughing. Some of the girls had to have their heads shaved.
We were then strapped to pottys on stone floors (still naked), for long periods of times (sometimes days on end). Because of the straps you had to strain to pass motion causing the rectum to actually drop loose. After this the nun would make me prostrate on the bed and push my rectum back into place with her hand. If ant any time we were constipated after being given laxatives, the nun would manually insert her hand inside my rectum to make me pass motion. Because of continually passing urine and being unable to keep myself clean, I was covered in sores around my vagina.
At night, the Nuns would come and pull my bed clothes off and wrench my legs apart then would tell me I was a filthy bitch and another beating would take place. When we reached womanhood and our period's began we were allowed just one sanitary towel for the whole of our period, and so we had to make our own from newspaper..
On being discharged from the convent at 15 ¾ years of age I was sent from the convent to a work house. I was given no documents at all, just told my date of birth and my real name. I was threatened to never, ever, ever speak of what happened inside the convent and if I did, I would be thrown into a lunatic asylum and the same bad things would happen to me for the rest of my life. All I got was a bag of rags and sixpence, and that was it.
I have been told by doctor's that there is no medical reason why I shouldn't have children but I live in fear that a child of mine will be taken away from me and put into care, and suffer as I have suffered. If anything were to happen to me or my husband I could not live with the thought that this could happen. I am in my fifties now and regret that I don't have my own family. I wake up every single night paralysed with fear that the nuns will come and get me. My husband has to walk me to the bathroom.. I have to leave the Lights on at night.
This is what the Roman Catholic Church stand for, they must have known what was happening to us. They must have known.. They told me not to speak. I am going to tell the world everything.
This is a brief overview of the events that took place. There will be more in time, including more detail of the abuse that occurred, and names will be mentioned. Carol will tell us in her own good time..
Peace, Love and Light---
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